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Big Sky Love

March 4, 2011

I’ve been swapping stories about illnesses and medical issues with people lately. Why? Because nothing is more exciting than sharing stories about hideous medical experiences that’s why. Also, I feel less alone in my little crisis each time I meet minds with others in the waiting room and in line at the pharmacy. It seems everyone has a medical experience to share.

The story of my medical problems began way back in 1983 when I was driving my new Chevrolet Cavalier hatchback one night. I was hit by Mr. Willie White while waiting for a red light to turn green. He’d been out drinking all night and thought he could drive. He drove a white Cadillac, and his car hit mine going 25 mph — and pushed me in my car into a busy intersection. My car was totaled and it left me with only a whiplash. I would have sued him for more if I had only known I’d be seeing chiropractors, physical therapists and doctors way down the road.

Hopefully I am making sense writing right now. I’m on drugs and think you should know.

I really wish that someone had suggested I see a chiropractor right after the accident.  The only thing I thought to do was hire an attorney. I did not experience problems with my back until 1998, when I was 34 years old. And until right now, my problems were intermittent and not so intense.

It’s been three years since the last time I had any problems with my back or have seen a chiropractor.  I’d been doing very well until about a month ago when I woke up with my lower back aching on a Sunday morning. Within a few days things progressed into sharp shooting pains in my left hip and leg. I really wish I had taken this a little more seriously at first. I didn’t until I went thirty six hours without sleep.

I don’t know why I feel so proud that I have a deep threshold for pain.

So anyway, I recently learned that I am experiencing sciatic nerve problems. I’m only in pain when I am walking, laying down or sitting. My mind can’t function on these kind of drugs, and also, my mind can’t function in this kind of pain. I’ve been floating in the bath tub a lot trying to avoid the need for drugs during the day.  Most of the time my face has the look of constipation going on and my skin is pruned. Currently it feels like there is a nail penetrating my knee cap and my leg feels like it’s stuck in a permanent Charlie Horse. My lower back feels just fine.

I’m grumpy and I am frustrated. I’m feeling fearful at times that I’ll be stuck like this F O R E V E R. I can’t tend to half of the things I did before. Until now, I was a virgin to chronic pain. Until now I could keep up on dishes and laundry and drive my car. But I can’t do these things right now. And I hear this is temporary, this needs time. My doctor says it may take up to three months. (So get your prayers going on!)

Right now, I’m dreaming of ways to feel less frustrated, and less guilty that I am half the mom I used to be.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. March 4, 2011 12:09 pm

    Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that you are in so much pain! I had a pinched sciatic nerve once. It only lasted a few days thanks to muscle relaxers (which I adore BTW) but I remember it was awful. I can’t imagine how much worse this is for you.

    I have no idea if this is applicable or of interest but I read about Dr. Sarno’s work in a book you recommended and that I loved (What Really Matters by Tony Schwartz):

    Hope you are pain-free soon!

  2. March 4, 2011 5:21 pm

    Thanks Cyndi, I’m intrigued with what I read from your link. Most awesome for me right now is that you can relate to this. I say WOW! I’m going to think on all the things that were running through my mind prior to this. Grateful for the inspiration.

  3. March 5, 2011 8:08 pm

    Oh, Dawn, how frustrating and awful for you. I wonder if old Willie is still around to think of the consequences of his actions so long ago.

    I hope you feel better soon. I’m sure your kids know you’re still the same great mom you’ve always been. ❤

  4. March 6, 2011 11:55 am

    It’s weird and wonderful that since writing this post things have improved quite a lot. Thanks for the thoughts, I think it’s working — the pain has ebbs and tides. I’ve had a few pain free hours here and there without medication. (knock on wood)

    You know what Les, Willie was charged with more than a DUI that night. After he hit my car, he got out of his car and wobbled around. Gave me enough time to find a make-up pencil in my purse and write down his license plate number — before he left the scene of an accident. The cops found his car in a garage that night and booked him on all charges. His insurance company tried to threaten me into signing a medical release. Weird. That’s the thing that made me call an attorney.

    I was just a kid. His insurance company was off the hook when they settled on a suit that covered my car plus 7 grand. It would have been wise to include potential future medical expenses in that.

    I learnt a lot 🙂

  5. March 6, 2011 5:28 pm

    Typical irresponsibility all around. Drink and drive. Hit and run. Then try to pressure the victim. Glad you got a little something–although no amount of money could truly cover wasted days in pain!!

    Hope things keep looking up! We’re sending good thoughts your way…

  6. March 6, 2011 10:00 pm

    dawn, so sorry to hear you are in so much pain! i had horrible sciatica when i was pregnant with my daughter — it was brutal and there was no way to physically “be” without being uncomfortable.

    i hope you are feeling better soon — nerve pain is both intolerable and hard to manage/treat.


  7. March 7, 2011 6:25 am

    Yes, me too Lynette, I had bouts when I was pregnant too. Especially when sleeping. This morning I awoke with minimal pain for the first time in weeks, I think there is really something to feeling consoled by dear friends. How grateful I am for each of you to have your thoughtfulness embracing me. It’s working wonders! And I’m grinning with remembering that I made a promise to myself a while ago NOT to write another post unless it was inspiring or uplifting. Geesh, now I think that was silly.

    Also this really BIG news happened yesterday at dinner. My 18 year old son and his 18 year old girlfriend shared the news that she is pregnant. They asked me to keep it quiet for now until my sons father knows. But I can’t keep secrets, especially if they cause a mix of great delight and concern. Mostly though, it’s lifted my spirits a whole lot. A new little life on the horizon.

  8. March 7, 2011 7:08 am

    WHOA!!! Congratulations Grandma!!!!! 🙂

  9. March 7, 2011 7:59 am

    wow a grandma!!!! yea!!!! this will be fun to hear about….

    i wanted you to know that i feel your pain girl. thanks to a sledding accident, i have struggled with sciatic nerve pain off and on now for about 20 years. trust me when i tell you that the pain will go into remission. it will. just hang in there. do your back exercises. sleep with a pillow between your legs. learn all the right ways to mop and vacuum. seriously, all these things will help it not to flare up.

    glad it is already better.

  10. March 7, 2011 6:58 pm

    Thanks for the cheers! Oh Conseulla, you’ve been there and back for twenty years. Good golly! And yes, yes and yes to staying on the exercise plan. I’ve had an awesome day today, minimal pain and no drugs for 29 hours. I’m seeing the light finally, I hugged my chiropractor today. Thanks a million for the warmth of your caring sweet hearts.

  11. mike permalink
    April 6, 2011 6:46 pm

    you are feeling better now…right? I am sorry that you have felt so miserable and wish you continued healing and comfort.
    really enjoyed seals and crofts today, it was just what i needed as i began a 5 hour drive back home. my droid is on a car dock and plays back thru the radio in my car (i am constantly amazed by the technology). anyway i listened to it several times and then to Pandora the rest of the way home… no news day… a good thing 🙂
    thank you

  12. April 9, 2011 4:17 pm

    Hi Mike, thanks for your thoughtfulness. It has been weeks since I’ve written. Gratefully I have slowly become active once more, the pain is gone and I have not been on medication since I wrote this post. There are so many things to catch up on that were set aside for these weeks. Ya know?!

    I’m glad that you’re enjoying the music, I am too!

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