Big Sky Love

I’ve been swapping stories about illnesses and medical issues with people lately. Why? Because nothing is more exciting than sharing stories about hideous medical experiences that’s why. Also, I feel less alone in my little crisis each time I meet minds with others in the waiting room and in line at the pharmacy. It seems everyone has a medical experience to share.

The story of my medical problems began way back in 1983 when I was driving my new Chevrolet Cavalier hatchback one night. I was hit by Mr. Willie White while waiting for a red light to turn green. He’d been out drinking all night and thought he could drive. He drove a white Cadillac, and his car hit mine going 25 mph — and pushed me in my car into a busy intersection. My car was totaled and it left me with only a whiplash. I would have sued him for more if I had only known I’d be seeing chiropractors, physical therapists and doctors way down the road.

Hopefully I am making sense writing right now. I’m on drugs and think you should know.

I really wish that someone had suggested I see a chiropractor right after the accident.  The only thing I thought to do was hire an attorney. I did not experience problems with my back until 1998, when I was 34 years old. And until right now, my problems were intermittent and not so intense.

It’s been three years since the last time I had any problems with my back or have seen a chiropractor.  I’d been doing very well until about a month ago when I woke up with my lower back aching on a Sunday morning. Within a few days things progressed into sharp shooting pains in my left hip and leg. I really wish I had taken this a little more seriously at first. I didn’t until I went thirty six hours without sleep.

I don’t know why I feel so proud that I have a deep threshold for pain.

So anyway, I recently learned that I am experiencing sciatic nerve problems. I’m only in pain when I am walking, laying down or sitting. My mind can’t function on these kind of drugs, and also, my mind can’t function in this kind of pain. I’ve been floating in the bath tub a lot trying to avoid the need for drugs during the day.  Most of the time my face has the look of constipation going on and my skin is pruned. Currently it feels like there is a nail penetrating my knee cap and my leg feels like it’s stuck in a permanent Charlie Horse. My lower back feels just fine.

I’m grumpy and I am frustrated. I’m feeling fearful at times that I’ll be stuck like this F O R E V E R. I can’t tend to half of the things I did before. Until now, I was a virgin to chronic pain. Until now I could keep up on dishes and laundry and drive my car. But I can’t do these things right now. And I hear this is temporary, this needs time. My doctor says it may take up to three months. (So get your prayers going on!)

Right now, I’m dreaming of ways to feel less frustrated, and less guilty that I am half the mom I used to be.