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In Awe with My Flowers

January 11, 2011

Some things cause me such consternation. Like some nameless people in this world who feel the need to mine my blog for words and photos and such and then leave threatening comments that will remain unpublished and my property.

My blog has always felt like my little space to share some of the many things that I’ve experienced in my world. I struggle with this life that was given me to know, to figure out. And I’m glad to know so many of you who were and are mystified about life alongside me. Life does not make sense to me all the time and I can not make sense of it for others. And now, I just wish to appreciate the wonder of it all without needing to make sense of anything.

My blog has never really had an aim or a purpose. When I lived in Morse Iowa I created it for a small community I felt a great love for. When I moved to Des Moines I wished only to connect with mothers. My tribe. My people. My flowers. When we moved here, my children and  I left everything we had known for a very long time and moved on. My daughters and I missed our friends there dearly. My blog has been the place where I made what was once private, public — a place where I felt good to express so many feelings that would have gone unspoken otherwise.

Words are like salve when they come from the heart. I felt heard. To feel the true caring of others has been a great gift. Especially as I have come to terms with the light and dark sides of my Orphan Archetype.

So many times you have made my world feel less cold than it appeared to be at times. I could not be more grateful. I am lost, I am found and etc. I revel in that expression many times again and again.

And right now I just want to remember and to appreciate all of those who have passed through my life, and to appreciate the mysteries life has given all of us. Uprooting all prior posts helped me remember again that not all mysteries need to be solved. And so it goes that I have no definition or purpose or aim in writing right now. Some things  need uprooted and other things need ressurrected. And with that, I remain wandering, appreciating and in awe that we met traveling through these great passages at all.

And so I sit, and remain a tiny speck on the cloud of God waiting. Peeling apples with the company of Clarrisa Pinkola Estes.

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. January 11, 2011 10:42 am

    Sometimes we feel our interconnectedness best when we are alone in isolation without the external distractions of the world. In our isolation we begin to better know ourselves and determine what we want to share with others or not from the privacy of our souls. ~Love, Peter

  2. January 11, 2011 11:31 am

    Yes. So true. I relish the solitude. Turning from the external world back to the internal one helps separate the wheat from the chaff. And we turn, and we turn, and we burn and we burn. The spark remains. And what we burn and what we turn and what is plowed we can not always find words to voice. We can find reason in our actions and love of people.

  3. January 11, 2011 12:31 pm

    dawn, finding your blog and getting to know you have changed my life in countless ways, and given me the solace of knowing there is another wandering, searching soul whose path is interwoven with mine. the gift you have given of making some of the internal external is truly treasured here. thank you from my heart.

  4. January 11, 2011 12:45 pm

    So happy to know you, and everyone else, who can’t figure life out either AND to have learned there is no figuring it out, it’s a journey. A journey made easier (and a lot more fun) with friends. Cheers to you and your blog! 🙂

  5. January 11, 2011 12:52 pm

    Funny, this was the favorite song I heard on my iPod today and your post reminds me of it:

  6. January 11, 2011 3:26 pm

    Dawn, does this mean we won’t be hearing from you for a while? Don’t let these loonies change your intentions. And if they are threatening you, the law can take care of these things…

  7. January 12, 2011 8:04 am

    i’m glad i found you! i have enjoyed walking alongside you a bit. i’ve been encouraged and challenged by the things i read here. keep wandering!

  8. January 12, 2011 8:33 am

    I used to be afraid that my heart would grow cold and harden. Thank you for the sweet reminders Lynette and your friendship. Sharing the tears, the fears, the angst, the love, the losses, the fascinating discoveries makes for a wonderfully satisfying kind of kindred companion on my journey too.

    And so many times that I get a powerful hit, an inkling to do something radical, or feel surprised I am thinking a thought, or making a move and need to question myself and dig deeper. There you are Cyndi, on Twitter. Blows me away how many times you help me breakthrough self doubt. Love the song gift very much.

    And Les, I think it’s awesome how you are kind of like the Mother who defends and protects. We respect what life gives. Compassion and justice go hand in hand. And what I see happening in this scenario is a few confused idiots that are fodder. Some people need to release their hatred somewhere, and god knows I’ve met these types over and over and over. They gnaw at my skin which has turned to scar tissue over time. You know?

    Why no, I’m not leaving my blog. I’m a woman in transition and I’m just resting above it all for right now.

  9. January 12, 2011 8:41 pm

    I’m so glad I found you Consuella. The smiles you have given me I keep in my pocket: ‘Fertilizer’ and ‘Open a can’ remain close daily. Thank you for being so uplifting and constant. XoXo

  10. January 13, 2011 10:22 pm

    Ignore that horrible, horrible troll person leaving the comments. I can relate and feel your pain. Just hate it is happening to you, too. You, of all people, do not deserve that kind of hate.

  11. January 14, 2011 8:23 pm

    I really like this post because I believe nothing and no one are just coincidence in our life.

  12. Nik permalink
    February 24, 2011 5:46 pm

    🙂 Hi Dawn. I’ve been bubbling out all over my blog, but I have not frequented my fav’s for quite some time. I’m getting reacquainted with and have missed reading about my cyber mama counterpart’s ponderings. So nice to see you again. 🙂

  13. February 28, 2011 11:37 am

    That’s cool. I haven’t been bubbling out all over my blog but have been frequenting every one elses. What does that mean?!

    House come you leave no link?

  14. February 28, 2011 11:24 pm

    Not sure why my ‘Nik’ didn’t link… will try this again. 🙂
    [Nik = My Single Mom Life]

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